What to Do If You Think Your Roommate Stole Your Money

roommatemoneyHave you ever suspected your roommate of stealing money or something else from you? It is a very tough confrontation and can complicate friendships if you end up being wrong. Even when you don’t have a really strong nor bad relationship with your roommate, this situation can be quite complex.

How can you confront them without upsetting them or making them feel falsely accused? You also need to keep in mind that you could be right and they could get defensive, so you must bring this up in a way that makes you safe as well. Trust me, you don’t want to accuse them of something, be wrong, have them move out and leave you with the huge lease to cover by yourself.

Then there is also the possibility that they may not admit to their wrong doing when you accuse them, so how do you bring this up?

You may not want to cause pain to someone who may be innocent, but this is the best time to talk to them about this because the situation is fresh and you are in the right state of mind. If you feel that you are super-angry though, you may want to let yourself calm down a bit before bringing this up because you’ll want to be caring to worry about how your accusation may effect an innocent roommate.

Here are some ideas on how to bring it up depending on the severity of the evidence:

No evidence– You can’t figure out what the heck happened to your money. Nothing really points to your roomy’s direction, but there just doesn’t seem to be any choice. The best strategy here is to tell them about the missing money, but don’t directly accuse them. Be vague and judge their response. If they were involved, it will let them know that you aren’t afraid to bring it up and may in fact be more direct next time. This also may lead either to them helping you out, or admit to the theft.

There’s Evidence, But Don’t Want to Raise Cain– In this situation there is evidence that points to your roommate as being the culprit, but you are timid about bringing it up because they have a known temper and it could lead to big time confrontation. Is it worth the chance of conflict? Don’t harp on what to do too long. Take action. Either adapt to the insecure environment and start locking your stuff up or move out and get over it. If you don’t speak up, don’t live in fear for the rest of your lease.

No Doubt About It– All evidence points in their direction and you are for sure going to confront them about this. If so, don’t bring it up until you have fully planned out what you will do if your roommate denies it. Will you move out? Will you consult authorities? Be ready to enact the back up plan. You’ll also want to bring it up sincerely, showing that you are hurt. DO NOT attack them. This will just make it much more conflictual. Also, make sure that you are very descriptive about the story of having the money and it then being gone. Be sure to let them know, that you know you had it.

This is definitely a tough situation, but speaking up is imperative, otherwise this will remain looming over your head and build resentment for your roommate. Just remember to be honest and although it really stinks that they may have done this, try to be open-minded and understanding! Good luck.

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